Some days I find it a lot harder than others to work with my team at work.  Today was a hard one.
There’s a particular individual who I am finding it difficult to communicate with. This time last year we had an um interesting time with a colleague who had been promoted to team leader when our manager had retired,  and it didn’t work out well for anyone.  They have now left and this other colleague may be taking on some of the characteristics that we disliked in her.
I was depressed and even slightly suicidal in that environment. I am not going to let that happen again.
Any tips on dealing with difficult people?


8 thoughts on “Teams

  1. An says:

    I’m sorry to hear of your experience, and I hope today was better – I can empathise as I left a workplace due to the kind of environment you describe.
    At the time, I thought there were no benefits to the situation – but now I reflect, that it showed me where I don’t want to work, and it also made me more sensitive to workplace dynamics. Perhaps you already did this beforehand, but can you see all the connections between people, even in a new situation? I guess this is a way to recover from workplace trauma, but it can still be useful.
    On how to deal with difficult people – make sure you document any “incidents”. I know everyone says this, but it really helps to build a case. Or, less formally, can just help on a personal level to know it’s “real”. But re-reading can also be a trigger. Also, when I used to interact with my previous colleague, I would count in my head before responding so that I didn’t talk emotionally, because it made things worse.
    I hope you are okay – and if possible, fingers crossed that you can work in another team or get some distance from this colleague.


    • minimacs23 says:

      I tried really hard to think calmly before responding and they still went straight to manager and came back and basically said like a toddler ‘you’re not the boss of me’.
      I tried really hard not to roll my eyes as they have already complained about me doing that before.
      No chance of separation its a really small team.


  2. Ruth Baxter says:

    Can you talk to the Manager about their behaviour? It sounds like you’re not their supervisor so you shouldn’t be in this position.
    Or I was recently given a tool to increase dialogue: Listen-connect-build. Basically you listen to what someone else says and disregard the bits you don’t agree and find something in what they said that you connect with, then build on that point in your answer. Doesn’t work for everday situations but it is helping me communicate better with teams I had written off in my head beforehand.


    • minimacs23 says:

      Re roles it’s a bit mixed up these days with ‘restructure’ there are a few of us who were ‘promoted’ of sorts and supposed to be ‘equal’. Apparently this seems to not extend to us all following same policies etc.

      Listen-connect-build looks interesting. That is a new idea for me, will think on it.

      Liked by 1 person

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